


Want You Back

by kinneyb



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-16 02:06:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19308439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneyb/pseuds/kinneyb
Summary: Quentin survives - physically, at least. But everything is just so fucked and he doesn't have any fight left in him. So he leaves in the middle of the night, leaving nothing behind but a note to Julia. Everyone grieves in their own way.





	1. Margo

**Author's Note:**

> ★ please follow me on twitter @ queermight & check out my pinned tweet! ★

"I'm leaving."

Margo glances up and blinks once. "Uh - okay?" she tilts her head. "Where are you going?"

"No." Quentin clears his throat. "I'm _leaving_ ," he clarifies.

Margo squints, standing up from the couch. "Q, I still have no fucking clue what that means."

He sighs heavily and looks away, crossing his arms. "I'm done with - with this." He looks back, and Margo freezes, noticing for maybe the first time just how tired he looks. Broken, and weak. "With everything."

"Okay," she replies slowly. "Do you mean... saving the world or?" Because she was getting kind of tired of that, too.

Quentin smiles tightly and shrugs. "Yes," he licks his lips, "but no - not just that. I'm... I'm leaving."

And suddenly, she understands. "Oh, shit," she mutters, scrambling to grab his face between her hands. "Q."

He stares at her, and for once he seems oddly confident, unwavering in his decision. "I can't, Margo," he says, quiet but firm. "I'm going to - I'm going to _die_ if I stay."

"Baby," Margo breathes, but what can she possibly say in reply to _that?_ "Does everyone else know?"

Quentin swallows audibly. "I - I was hoping you could tell them," he says, barely a whisper.

"Quentin," she says. "Even Julia? Eliot?"

He looks away. "Um. I left a note for Julia. But... yeah."

"Eliot is going to be - "

Quentin pulls away from her, shaking his head. "I know!" he snaps. "Just - tell me you'll do it? For me?"

She purses her lips, crossing her arms. "Why me, Q? This isn't fair, you know that, right?"

He frowns deeply and shrugs weakly. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever," she turns away. "Are you... going to keep in contact at all or?"

But she gets no reply, and when she looks back over her shoulder, there's no sign of Quentin. She takes a few shaky breaths and collapses on the couch, covering her face. _Fuck_.

++

She finds Julia first. She's sitting on the deck, clutching a piece of paper to her chest. Margo frowns and joins her, sitting quietly.

"He - " Julia sniffs, wiping her eyes. "He didn't even leave a - a number or anything."

Margo nods, just barely. "He - he came to me last night."

Julia stiffens, peeking at her. "Did he - did he tell you he was leaving?"

She almost wants to lie, but she can't. Not to Julia, not after everything. "Yeah," she admits softly. "He did."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Julia says, eyes welling with tears. She doesn't look angry, exactly, just... _broken_. Much like Quentin had. "Or anyone," she clarifies, sniffing. "We - we could've stopped him, maybe."

Margo stares at her feet, her bright pink pumps. Usually fashion always has a way of cheering her up, but not today. "I don't think we could've stopped him," she confesses. "He barely even told me anything, Julia. He was there one second, and gone the next." It isn't easy for her, but she says it anyway: "I'm sorry."

Julia pulls the piece of paper away from her chest and stares down at it. Margo can barely make out Quentin's messy handwriting. "He said - he said he might come back to visit. Um." She clears her throat. "After he's settled down, and gotten a job, and - "

Reaching out, Margo touches her hand - a gentle, comforting touch.

"I don't - I don't get it," she says, tears spilling down her cheeks. "He always wanted to be a magician. This was his _dream_."

Margo nods lightly. "Sometimes, you want things," she says, quiet, "but then you get them and you realize you were stupid for ever even wanting it." She pictures Quentin; younger, naiver, having this conversation in bed, and almost breaks. But she doesn't; she has to be strong. For Eliot.

++

But she doesn't find Eliot next. She's on her way to his bedroom when she sees Alice in the living room, throwing things in her bag. She debates just ignoring her, but.

"Alice?"

The aforementioned girl stops abruptly. "What?" she asks, defensive. "If he can leave, so can we."

Margo frowns and walks over, sitting on the couch. It's no wonder Alice's bag is mostly stuffed with books.

"What?" she snaps, looking at her.

Margo is usually the king of playing this game, but she's just not in the mood for it. "Julia told you?"

"I - yes, but I already knew," she looks away and zips up her bag, "when I went to his room and everything was gone."

Margo's heart squeezes at that. Right. "And your emotional response is to leave us, too?"

Alice laughs sharply. "As if any of us were ever friends," she says, surprisingly cold even for her. "Most of us wouldn't have ever even met if it wasn't for Quentin."

"That's not true," Margo replies without missing a beat.

Alice glares at her. "Isn't it?" Straightening up, she grabs her bag. "Kady is coming with me, by the way."

"Wh - what?" Margo scrambles to her feet. "Well." She sniffs. "Look at that - you _did_ make a friend." Turning away, she stomps off in the direction of Eliot's room. "You can thank Q for that!" she yells over her shoulder.

When she glances back a second time, Alice is gone. Margo was never close with Alice, sure, and at times she might've even held resentment for the girl, but... she couldn't help being upset she was leaving, too. Everyone was slowly leaving. Maybe Quentin had been onto something.

++

Margo lingers outside Eliot's door. She's pretty sure he doesn't know; she hasn't seen him all morning, at least. Since coming back from the monster, he's been a pretty big sleeper. He sleeps more often than not.

Taking a deep breath, she opens the door. Unsurprisingly, Eliot is asleep, curled up and hugging a pillow. Suddenly, she feels nothing but anger towards Quentin for making her have to do this. He looks so peaceful. The only time he looks peaceful nowadays is when he's sleeping.

She sits on the bed gingerly. "El, baby?"

He barely stirs. She smiles fondly, but the smile is quickly wiped away.

"El, sweetie," reaching out, she grabs his hand and squeezes. "You need to wake up, baby."

He groans, but turns over and peers up at her through blearily eyes. "Bambi," he sighs. "You look like shit."

"Wow," she rolls her eyes. "Thanks."

Eliot grins tiredly. "No, seriously." Clearing his throat, he sits up the best he can. "Have you been crying?"

Margo smiles tightly. "No, I haven't," she says. Which is a fucking miracle, but Margo Hanson is many things and a crier is _not_ one. Like she'd said so long ago, if she starts, she might never stop. "But something bad... did happen, Eliot."

He blinks once. "Oh. What?"

"Last night, uh..." Margo can't look him in the eye, so she stares down at their intertwined hands. "Quentin came to me."

Eliot hums lightly. "Did he need something?"

"Uh," Margo swallows thickly. "Kind of, yeah."

Eliot nods slowly. "Margo, why do I have the feeling you're about to tell me something bad?"

"Baby..." Looking up, she cups his face. "Quentin... he's - he's _gone_."

He stares at her, unblinking. "What do you mean gone?" he asks, barely a whisper.

"I - " she clears her throat, stroking his cheekbones softly. "He's okay, if that's what you're thinking," she says. "But he's... no longer here. He left, said he was done with magic - all of it."

Eliot laughs, sudden and sharp. "That makes no fucking sense," he replies, searching her face, "Margo, he _loves_ magic."

"Loved," she corrects gently. "I don't think anyone loves magic anymore, Eliot. And can you blame him?"

He promptly looks away, but Margo still gets a glimpse of the tears swelling in his eyes. Eliot was like her in a lot of ways - he didn't like crying. "Bambi," his voice is thick, "I - I don't understand."

She nods, touching his leg. "I know, baby, but... there's nothing we can do. He didn't leave us anything to find him."

Eliot closes his eyes and took a slow, shaky breath. "I don't believe it," he mutters. "I didn't even - we hadn't even had a proper talk yet." He swallows. "Fuck. _Fuck_."

"He did leave a letter for Julia," she continues, rubbing his leg. "He said he'd probably come visit... eventually."

Eliot nods slowly. "I - I need to - "

"Right. Yeah. Of course." Margo feels bad leaving him, but she knows he needs his privacy right now to grieve properly. Quentin isn't dead, but he's gone and that's bad enough. "I'm going to make some food, okay?"

Eliot doesn't look at her, but he nods again.

Frowning, she leaves and closes the door behind her.


	2. Alice

Alice sits on a bench, eating gummy bears Kady had bought for her. Kady was never close with Quentin, not like some of them, but she's been trying her best and Alice sees - and appreciates - her effort.

"You really don't want to work with the library?" Kady asks as Alice offers her a gummy bear.

Alice chews slowly. "I might - I don't know." She sighs, pursing her lips. "I don't know anything right now."

Kady nods. "Everything is a mess," she admits, "but that's just an usual Friday for us, right?"

Alice gives a sniff that's supposed to be a laugh. Kady knows, somehow, and smiles softly, nudging her.

"You didn't have to, like, run off with me," Alice mutters, finishing the gummy bears and crunching the bag up in her fist. "I know you're doing your own thing with the Hedge Witches."

Kady hums thoughtfully, leaning back. "I can do that traveling, though," she says. "And besides, I know we don't know each other that well, but... I don't think you should be alone right now."

Alice stares down at her feet. "I don't think Quentin loved me anymore," she confesses, barely a whisper.

Kady stiffens, but she doesn't run and Alice thinks that's an improvement from her earlier character. "Why would you think that?" she asks finally, shifting a bit. "He cared for you - Hell, he cared for _all_ of us a lot."

"Exactly," she replies, smiling sadly. "I don't think he ever stopped caring for me, but the love... the love had been lost a long time ago, and I was - I _knew_ that. But then, he kissed me and for once in my life I just didn't want to think too hard about something." She sniffs and looks away. "I just wanted to be happy and live in the moment." She laughs wetly, "which is so fucking stupid. In a way, I broke my own heart, huh?"

Kady wraps an arm around her. "You know, when we got this Penny back, I knew in my brain it wasn't _my_ Penny."

Alice glances at her, eyes soft and understanding.

"But my heart didn't give a shit what my brain thought," she continues with a bit of a laugh. "It's still a struggle, and I feel like I'm constantly breaking my own heart, but. That's what life is, I think." She smiles at Alice. "It's breaking your own heart and putting it back together."

Alice smiles, just a hint. "Can I confess something?"

Kady hums in acknowledgement. "No one's stopping you, sugar."

"I have no idea where I'm planning to go," she admits quietly. "I just - I needed out of there." Her nose scrunches up. "And please don't call me that ever again."

Kady jumps up with a shrug. "Let's just drive, then." She grins wickedly. "Follow me, _sugar_."

Alice laughs loudly. She can't remember the last time she didn't have to fake a laugh.

++

Alice wakes up; she's in a (kind of gross) motel with Kady and they're sharing a bed simply because it was cheaper. She's not complaining, exactly. She's missed the warmth of sleeping with another person.

Sitting up, she crawls out of bed and heads to the shower. That's when she notices her phone is flashing _missed text_.

She sighs and opens it. It's from Julia, surprisingly.

_Margo told me about you leaving. I want you to know you're not alone. We're all upset, and Q wouldn't want this._

Alice purses her lips and stands there for a long time, debating how to reply.

_Thanks._

Shaking her head and feeling oddly guilty, she drops her phone back on the table and walks to the bathroom.

++

They've been staying in a small town for a few days when Alice finally confesses, "I think we should go back."

Kady looks up from her breakfast and smiles lightly. "You ready for that?" she asks. For once, there's no condescending tone to her voice. Just genuine concern.

"I don't know," she admits, shrugging weakly. "But I can't just..." She imagines Quentin, younger and more innocent, almost crying, admitting he's always running. "I can't just keep running," she finishes quietly.

Kady nods. "Okay," she replies without missing a beat. "We can pack up after breakfast."

Alice licks her lips and stares at Kady for a lingering moment. "Thank you," she says. "For... coming with me, and being so..."

"Nice?" she suggests, smirking.

Alice smiles slightly. "Not exactly," she replies. "You've always been nice. Just... rough around the edges."

"So have you," Kady replies easily. "But I think I'm starting to realize that's not how I want to live life anymore."

Alice blinks once, looking down. "Yeah," she agrees softly.

++

When they arrive back at the cottage, the only person in the common area is Eliot. He looks absolutely terrible; his hair is greasy and he's _breaking out?_ Alice isn't sure she's ever seen a pimple on his face before and that's a real cause for concern.

"Would you mind taking my bag up?" Alice asks quietly.

Kady glances at Eliot, then, nods. "Sure." She takes Alice's bag and swings it over her shoulder.

Alice is briefly impressed by the fact she can do that. She watches as Kady ascends the stairs and disappears around a corner before joining Eliot on the couch, keeping respectable distance between them. "Hi."

He takes a sip of something. Alice isn't sure what it is, but she can _smell_ the alcohol. He doesn't say anything, which isn't exactly shocking. They were never friends.

"Um." She isn't really sure what she wants to say now that the opportunity is present. "Are you... feeling okay?"

Eliot takes a gulp and coughs lightly. He juts the glass at Alice. She smiles tightly and takes it; it's still half full.

"Thank you?"

He sighs quietly and leans over, covering his face with his hands.

"You two... never really got a chance to talk, huh?" Alice muses. She smells the drink; it's definitely something strong.

Eliot doesn't say anything for a long time, then, "we talked a few times, but it was always brief and there are always other people in the room and I - _fuck_." He laughs, broken. "I know this is so fucked up to say, but I loved him, Alice, and I knew you two had gotten back together, but fuck, I was gonna confess anyway."

Her noses twitches. "I had a feeling," she admits quietly.

Eliot shrugs weakly. "I didn't - it's not like I expected him to _want_ me. He was with you, after all, but I just - I needed him to know the truth." He looks up and his eyes are bloodshot, watery. "I needed to tell him."

Alice purses her lips. "I can't speak for him," she turns away and sighs. "But I don't think he was in his right state of mind when he suggested we give us another try."

"Oh."

Frowning, she shrugs. "I will always have a special place in my heart for him, but I'm not even sure if what I felt - _feel_ \- for him is - is real or just... loneliness. I just wanted to feel loved again."

"I'm - I'm sorry?" Eliot says, uncharacteristically nervous. It's almost endearing.

Alice smiles tightly. "It's not your fault, Eliot. We don't choose who we fall in love with." She snorts. "Unfortunately."

Eliot peers at her and tilts his head. "I don't think I've ever heard you snort before," he confesses, eyes sparkling. "You shouldn't hold back so much, Alice."

She blinks once, flushing. " _What?_ "

"You always walk on eggshells," he continues, looking away. "Like you're afraid to be who you are. Don't be."

Alice nods slowly. "I was angry at you for a long time, but." She leans over and presses their shoulders together. Shockingly, Eliot doesn't pull away. Actually, he leans into the touch. "You're a good person, Eliot."


	3. Julia

"You've been practicing a lot, right?" Eliot is standing in the doorway to Julia's room, leaning on his cane for support.

She sighs and looks up, her fingers dropping to the bedspread. "If you can this practicing," she replies gruffly.

Eliot smiles sadly and walks over, joining her on the bed. "Do you want company? Help?"

"I..." she stares down at her hands. "You know what? Yeah, I really, really do."

Eliot nods once, getting comfortable. "Show me what you can do."

Lifting her hands again, Julia produces a small spark. It's pretty, but fundamentally useless. "This is it. God, I'm so - I think I'd be mad no matter the circumstances," she mumbles, repeating the spark a few times before giving up, "but the fact Penny did this and now Q is gone, I'm just - "

Eliot listens, but doesn't interrupt. He knows the feeling of needing to vent.

"I... I feel like I need magic now more than ever," she continues softly. "I feel like it connects me to Q. It's stupid."

Eliot touches her hand gently. "It's not," he replies easily. "Fuck, I can't look at a peach or plum right now without crying."

Julia chews on her bottom lip. "Yeah," she tilts her head. "I've noticed. Uh... what's that about?"

"Oh." Eliot laughs, shaking his head. "Right. We never told you." At Julia's expression, he quickly clarifies. "Or anyone."

She nods and shifts, pulling her legs up to her chest. Eliot can't help thinking of Q. "Are you up for sharing?"

"Honestly, I probably wouldn't if Q was still here," he sighs, "because I respect his privacy, but..." He grins ruefully. "Fuck it."

So that's how they got to where they are now: Julia curled up, listening to Eliot's story about the mosaic. He keeps a few (more personal) details out of the equation, but there's no point - Julia picks up on them, anyway.

"You two fell in love, huh?" she sighs almost wistfully.

Eliot shrugs jerkily. "Yeah. I - " he clears his throat. "I still am."

Julia smiles sadly. "Somehow, that makes a lot of sense."

"Oh." He laughs, almost sheepish. "Really?"

Julia hums. "A lot of people... don't know how to deal with Q," she begins thoughtfully. "They mean well, like Alice, but they just don't understand how his brain works." She laughs lightly. "But you two were so close, and you always seemed to know how to calm him down or comfort him." Leaning over, she touches his hand. "That's not an easy fret, Eliot."

He shrugs, feeling warm in the face. "Thanks?"

She smiles and pulls back. "I seriously just don't know what to do anymore."

"Join the club," he replies.

++

Julia knows she's being stupid, truly, but she's in the kitchen at five am sobbing when Penny finds her. He lingers in the door, obviously unsure what to do.

Finally, he enters and sits at the table with her. "Hey?" he asks, so soft she can barely hear him over her own sobbing.

She sniffs loudly and scrubs at her eyes, then, points at a deck of cards on the table. Penny might not be that Penny, but even he knows those cards.

"Shit," he breathes.

Julia picks up the deck and slowly opens the pack. "I - I found them in the bathroom cabinet. Like he - he hid them there for me."

"He'll come back, Julia," Penny says.

She nods and flips through the cards. "I - I want that. More than anything, but..."

"But?" he prompts curiously, eyebrows furrowing together. "What do you mean?"

Julia picks out a card and stares at it, blinking back tears. "He's been through so much, Penny," she says, barely a whisper. "Could I - could I blame him for wanting to detach himself from..." she gestures around, "all of this?"

"Yes," Penny replies breezily, disbelieving. "You can. Listen, I didn't know your Quentin very well, but he'd be an idiot to just... abandon all of this. You guys love him."

Julia looks up and smiles sadly. "But is that enough?"

"It fucking should be," he answers, sticking his nose in the air.

She laughs wetly and stuffs the cards back in their box. She grabs a napkin and wipes her eyes. "I want food. Like really, really greasy comfort food." She thinks of Quentin. When he used to call her (when he was having a really bad brain day), she'd always show up at his place with a ton of bags of greasy fast food. She pushes the thought out of her mind, tucking it away in the safety of her memories.

"Yes, ma'am," Penny replies, the tension visibly draining from his shoulders. He jumps up and runs off.

He returns a few hours later with bags upon bags of fast food, and she cries again. He doesn't say anything, just rubs her back and eats with her.

++

Julia is just getting out of the shower when she gets The Call (as she would later call it).

Drying her hair, she grabs her phone and squints at the unknown number. She prepares for the worst (knowing their luck) but when she answers, there's just silence for a long moment. She's debating hanging up when --

"Jules?"

She nearly drops her phone. "Q?" she breathes, disbelieving. But that's definitely his voice. A little lighter, but his voice nevertheless. She grips her phone tighter. "Q, I've missed you so fucking much. I - where the fuck are you?"

He laughs softly. "I've missed you, too, Jules," he replies. "I'm - I'm doing better, though."

She shifts, tucking a towel around her body. "That's great," she says sincerely. "Does... does that mean you're coming back?" she asks hopefully, walking out of the bathroom.

There's a long pause. "No," he replies quietly. "I want to," he continues quickly. "But I need more time. I think. I just - I had to talk to you, Jules."

She smiles sadly as she sits on her bed, "I want you to do what's best for you, Q," she admits, "but this is really fucking hard."

"I know," he agrees. "I love you, Julia."

He hangs up before she can reply.

++

Julia can't sleep. When she walks down the stairs, she's somehow not surprised to see Eliot sitting in front of the fireplace, nursing a bottle of vodka. She raises an eyebrow as she joins him. "Really?"

He shrugs. "Too lazy," he mutters.

Julia smiles sadly and crosses her legs under her. For a few minutes, they just sit in silence, watching the fire. She hasn't told anyone about the phone call yet, but for some reason she thinks telling Eliot first is the right thing to do.

What Quentin would want, probably.

Before she can say anything, though, Eliot speaks, "Quentin and I used to do this a lot."

She blinks once. "Sorry?"

He smiles lightly and takes another swig. "He had a hard time sleeping. I did, too. So we'd often find ourselves hanging out late at night in front of the fireplace. Drinking, usually."

Julia nods and reaches over to take the bottle, taking a sip. She makes a face, which succeeds in at least making Eliot laugh. "Disgusting," she mumbles.

He grins, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "We also shared a lot of stuff. Stories." He stares at the fire. "Secrets. It was... it felt like a safe place for me."

"Q has a way of doing that," she replies softly.

He nods. "Felt like I could tell him anything."

She chews on her bottom lip. "Q called me," she blurts suddenly.

Eliot stiffens and places the bottle on the floor. "I'm - I wish I could say I was surprised," he replies eventually, frowning. "Or... not a little hurt he didn't call me, but." He glances at Julia and smiles tightly. "You're his person, Julia. It's no shock he'd contact you if anyone."

She nods slowly. "He wants to come back. He just doesn't know when."

Eliot sighs heavily. "Soon, hopefully." He squints at the fire. "I really fucking miss him."

Julia touches his arm. "I know." The following _me too_ is silent, already known.


	4. Eliot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a reminder if u like my fics and wanna support me u can check out my twitter @ queermight

Eliot sleeps a lot. He used to hate sleep, honestly. He always preferred being awake, doing something - anything. He thought sleep was a waste of time, but now... sometimes it's the only thing that gets him through a day.

"Okay," Margo perches on the edge of his bed. "I know you're still... sad, honey," he touches his leg. "I am, too, but... you can't keep going on like this."

He's awake, but he doesn't bother opening his eyes. "What do you expect me to do?" he grumbles.

"I don't know," she answers honestly. "What do you want to do, El?" She squeezes his leg. "Whatever it is, I'll support you."

Eliot sighs, feels the familiar twinge of guilt in his chest and finally looks up at her. "What I want... is to tell you everything," he says. Suddenly that's all he wants.

Margo blinks once and pulls her hand away, curling both of them in her lap. "What do you mean?"

He sits up slowly. "Just... listen." So, like with Julia, he tells her everything. About his relationship (or now lack thereof) with Quentin. The mosaic. The fact while he was locked away in his head the one thing that kept him fighting was the thought of coming back and having a second chance with Quentin.

When he's done, he barely registers he's crying. Huh. He hadn't cried telling Julia the whole story.

Margo makes a soft noise and scoots closer, taking him in her arms. "Baby," she sighs into his hair. "I knew you two loved each other, but fuck."

He laughs wetly. "I - I know he's not... gone," he says, "but it feels like he is and that's all that matters to my stupid heart right now and I just - I want to go," he decides suddenly. "I need - I need a distraction."

Margo rubs his back and pulls away. "Okay," she replies. "Fillory it is."

++

Fillory doesn't really distract him, but it's something. It's better than staying curled up in bed at the cottage all day.

Also his marriage to Fen has been overruled while he was away, so... that's good, he guesses. And without the looming discomfort of an unwanted marriage, they actually end up becoming even closer.

Eliot had always loved her in a way, but this was something else - something better.

And when she hears the news about Quentin, she hugs him for a long time and brings him cups of tea. He thinks, and subsequently says, that whoever does end up winning Fen's heart is a lucky person.

She grins at him. "Thank you, Eliot," she says, touching his knee softly. "Q is lucky, too."

His heart squeezes tightly. "I - " he clears his throat and looks away, blinking away the tears.

Fen stands up and pets his hair. "I'll get you another cup of tea," she says.

++

He's been in Fillory for a little over a month when Margo comes barging into his room, nearly tripping in her rush. Margo never trips, especially in heels. Just to prove a point, probably.

So he knows whatever is happening is probably important. He sits up straighter. "Bamb - "

Before he can even finish, she's thrown herself into his arms. He laughs lightly and hugs her. Confused or not, he'll never turn down a hug from his favorite girl. He rubs her back for a moment.

"As much as I'm loving this," he says, voice dripping with amusement, "I'm assuming something has happened?"

She shifts and buries her face in his neck. "El, before I tell you, I want to ask something." Her voice is muffed, but he can still hear her. So he nods. Pulling back, she stares at him, surprisingly serious. "If you see Q again, you swear you'll be brave and tell him how you feel?" she asks, squeezing his shoulders.

Eliot blinks once. "I - yes?" he answers, unsure. "I told you - "

"Q's back," she interrupts, smiling almost nervously. "Julia sent Penny23 to tell us."

He takes a sharp breath. Suddenly, his shoulders feel lighter. Everything feels lighter. The air smells better. He laughs sharply and hugs Margo, burying his face in her hair. "We have to go back," he breathes. "As soon as possible."

She nods, petting his hair. "I'm going to go tell Fen to watch over things while we're away."

He doesn't want to, but he eventually lets her go and sits there by himself, feeling hopeful for the first time in months.

++

Penny (or as Margo still calls him, Penny23, because "he's not the OG Penny") shows up an hour or two later. Eliot has a small bag packed. Margo does not; she's planning to be back much sooner than Eliot.

"Is - is he good?" Eliot asks as Penny places a hand on his shoulder.

Penny smiles and just shrugs, placing his other hand on Margo's shoulder.

++

They don't appear in the cottage, which is surprising to Eliot. He looks around curiously and Margo touches his arm.

"It's, uh... Kady's apartment." She shrugs. "I think."

A door opens and the first thing Eliot sees is Julia. His heart skips a beat because if she's here, Quentin is definitely here. She smiles when she sees them, and steps out of the way.

"Q?"

Eliot doesn't know what to do with himself. Margo probably notices because she takes his hand, squeezing.

Out of the same door steps Quentin, looking... _wildly_ different from the last time he saw him. Or anyone, probably, by Margo's reaction. She drops his hand, stepping closer. Eliot blinks. He doesn't look bad. On the contrary, he looks amazing. His hair is still shorter than usual and he's smiling in that way that means he's genuinely happy.

But that's where the similarities end, really. The bags under his eyes are gone, he's clean shaven, he's wearing clothes that actually fit. Margo audibly gasps, and Eliot can't help laughing lightly.

Quentin meets his eyes and he smiles wider. "Hey."

Eliot thinks he must be dreaming. He steps closer, too. "Hey," he parrots softly.

"I have so much I want to say to you," Margo interrupts their moment, a bit gruff, "but... it can wait."

Quentin looks at her and his eyes soften visibly. "I'm sorry, Margo, for - for everything."

She shakes her head firmly and closes the distance between them, gathering him up in a hug. "Just shut up," she mutters, kissing his forehead when she pulls away, "and fucking talk to him, will you?"

He doesn't question her, just nods.

"Good luck, boys," she says as she takes Julia by the hand and drags her out of the room. Eliot can hear them whispering and giggling, but then a door opens and closes and suddenly it's quiet. Just them.

Eliot doesn't know where to start, but he knows he promised Margo he'd tell Q and he wasn't betraying her. "I - "

"I - " Quentin starts at the same time.

They laugh sheepishly and shuffle over to the couch, both sitting. Eliot keeps a few inches between them to be respectful. It's been a while, and he knows - as much as it hurts - that there's a chance Quentin doesn't feel the same way anymore. And if that happens to be so, he would respect that. Because he respects Quentin almost as much as he respects Margo, which is saying a lot for him.

"You look good," Eliot says.

Quentin tilts his head, almost smirking as he peers at Eliot. "Jules is great," he says. Eliot is thoroughly confused by the change in conversation, but he nods anyway. "But," he says slowly, "we've never been very good at keeping secrets from each other."

He blinks once. Then, "oh, _shit_."

Quentin grins toothily. "You're a fucking dick, Eliot Waugh."

He smiles sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm well aware, thank you."

"I asked you to date me, basically," Quentin continues, shaking his head, "and you turned me down because of what?" He peeks at Eliot. "Your own insecurities?"

Eliot squints. "Hey, I'm not the only one who struggles with insecurities, mister."

"I'm doing better now," Quentin replies, patting his legs. "I mean, I'm - I'm not perfect. I never will be." He shrugs. "But... as much as I missed you guys, and I really, really did," he smiles sadly. "I think having a break was good for me."

Eliot nods. "I really fucking missed you, Q, and... I don't know exactly what Julia told you, but it's all true."

Quentin smiles lightly. "I haven't, uh, seen Alice yet..." Reaching down, he grabs Eliot's hand and squeezes. "Apparently, she's been really busy lately."

Eliot hums. "Library business is exhausting as she's told me."

"Yeah," he replies, stroking the back of Eliot's hand softly. Eliot fights a shiver. "But my point is... after Alice and I have a chance to talk, I think we have some talking to do, too."

Eliot swallows thickly. "Good or bad talk?" he asks quietly.

"If what Julia told me is really true," Quentin remarks. "A good talk, I think."

Eliot smiles and nods.

 


End file.
